BIGTOP003 / TOPCD003 Crowntopper Records Release Date: 1st July 2023. (C.D AND L.P) Reviewed 21st June by Dave Diamond BAND MEMBERS: Sir Bald aka Hipbone Slim - Guitar/Vocals Jorge Lorre aka Mr. Freeze - Bass/Vocals Rufus El Guarro aka Gorilla - Drums/Vocals
Recorded at Bronca Studio, Porto, Portugal by Nuno Riviera (TT Syndicate)
All songs by Sir Bald /Alopecia Music
In their own words: Sir Bald tells me…I wrote all the songs!!! This album is a 100% party album!!!!! All are fun & have stupid dances etc. I met the guys in Spain on one man tour, we became friends and we decided to play together, here there are no sad songs!! The guys are like a cartoon. The Lp is a Rock n Roll cartoon!
In Los Hairies I am joined by Galicia's foremost coffee liquor and pork fuelled rock n roll rhythm section, Jorge and Martin, the infamous Lorre brothers, of Wavy Gravies, Bo Dereks, Limboos and all Night Workers infamy!
Let’s have a listen to the tracks: Twist In The Sand: Here we go and kickstarting this 15 track release is a self-penned number once again from Sir Bald.. describing this track as a mix between The Rivieras from Indiana/The Trashmen via Minneapolis/ meets The Ramones from New York…all straight in on this upbeat terrific-tastic number… the chorus line is a real groove, and you can imagine back in the early 60’s the guys and gals cutting a rug…lets twist a go-go! TwIst-tabulous!
Shakin' The Bacon: Wow the guitar is just oozing excellence from Sir Bald, the thunderous drums from Gorilla and fab bass lines via Mr Freeze…pure excellence! The band tell me the drummer loves pork, absolutely no salad or veg. The lyrics on this original are tremendous and the whole song has been worked out so well… I bloody love it…well cooked and pure crispy!!
Hair Of The Dog: this tune reminds me of the early girl group/doowop/rnb brought right up to date... loving the ‘sha la la’s in the back ground and Sir Bald just nails the vocals perfectly… we’ve all been there… hair of the dog!…. I’ll take that double Whiskey daddio’s!
The Hairy Surfer: Surfs up for an instrumental! … starts off with the constant floor tom and ear stomping snare drum, with fab bass licks and wow that reverb geetar is just singing to me!… I just gotta mention the drum solo mid-way through at 1min 40… wow that Gorilla sure has some arsenal in his stix! Astounding tune, love it!
Dance Ramona: I hear The Kingsmen mixed in with Frat/Beat/Pop/… I would love to see this number played live... it sure has crowd pleaser and audience participation written all over it! Fantastic lyrics once again from Sir Bald and the musicianship is tremendous and loving the scream too! Wow! Just over 3 minutes of 100% pure excellence, 11 out of 10!
Little Green Man: twang geeta starts this number and then it just erupts like a crazy volcano… I would describe this as garage punk ‘n’ roll… oh my god this is just frigging awesome!…. It tells the story of the Little Green Man who falls from the sky and is 2 foot 3, with a guitar in his hand, check out the lyrics and you gotta listen to the guitar solo… like dynamite it is going to blow you away! Explosive is an understatement…the mutt’s nutts!!
Shake It Off : cor blimey, half way through this powerhouse release... 1,2,3,4 and we are in once again… pure high octane tune all the way through and awesome musicianship, this tune is about shaking off your blues and your depression. Couldn’t’ go much faster or the band would be done for speeding! Totally mind-blowing number… fantabulous!
Mr Freeze: this one Sir Bald tells me is about a bass player who’s always cold and wears a big coat in summer. This has the sound of Johnny Kidd, Vince Taylor gone wrong with a bit of Snake Eyed Woman… love the stops interspersed with fab bass lines, awesome drum patterns and kick ass vocals and guitar and backing vocals… screaming awesome… dig man dig! Wowsville!
Surfin' With The Ratfink: think twist party, groover, RnB, and shimmying and you wont be far off on this track… has a Chuck vibe going through it and that mid 60’s sound… fantastic gritty vocals and the mixing is just perfect… lots of twist and turns throughout, a fab dance tune and one that sounds so authentic… great hookline that will go round your ears all day…thunderously awesome!
Spanish Fly: Sir Bald Y Los Hairies take on another Instrumental and this time I hear Link Wray meets Flamenco meets Surf! 1 minute 52 seconds…. Throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care and let’s do the Spanish Fly… this song has a great ‘buzz’ to it! … drums, guitar and bass all excel on this excellent tune.
Tarzan Goes Bananas: Track 10 of what has so far been a full repertoire of stupendous tunes… here we have go go gorilla versus monkey man …”down in the jungle where nobody goes”…. Where does Sir Bald get all his fabulous lyrics and inspirations from...please tell me as they are truly exceptional... love the drum section, constant bass licks and screaming guitar.. storming vocals once again with added backing vox… Tarza-mazingly fab!
Diddley Conga: Sir Bald describes this original track as stupid bo meets cuban dance craze… wow what a very ingeniously written tune this is… the beat, the rhythms, lyrics and whole track is just crazy man crazy… for sure a live audience participation tune… I’m even singing along myself to this snappy tune whilst sat at home!
Escaped From The Zoo!. Here is the penultimate tune to this 14-track release...garage kinks sonics, about the ugly faces in the band… has a Reggie Perkins vibe going all the way through it with the backing vox… this is a real memorable kick ass track indeed.. very powerful and lots going on throughout... such a phenomenal tune.. 2 minutes 20 seconds of pure stompin’ sounds!
Rock n Roll Is Gonna Kill You!... wowza! Where has the time gone.. I can’t believe I am at the final number from this astounding release…Plastic Bertrand meets Chuck, meets The Rezillos.. fun punk rnr it’s about shit music everywhere… “ooh wee ooh woow!” y”ah yah yah!” … great raw vocal from Sir Bald.. this will have you jumping on the chairs and banging your heads on the ceiling! What an awesome number to finish off this album…
Main influences: Bo, Link, Chuck, Trashmen, Doo wop, Rivieras, Ramones, Surf, Girl Groups, Sonics, rock n roll, 70s punk, 60s garage/beat
>>> stupid exaggerated version below…
Los Hairies rather lurid story begins at Kannion Surf, a beautiful secret Galician surf spot and hostelry of first-class hospitality and finest cuisine. Here, Hipbone Slim aka Sir Bald's musical performance was somewhat unceremoniously interrupted by a drunken brawl between the notorious Lorre brothers! Apparently, over a disagreement as to who has the ugliest face! In an attempt to pacify these feuding ruffians, Sir Bald invited them to join him on stage, playing maracas and spoons. After a somewhat chaotic rhythm n booze jam session it was agreed an honourable draw in the ugly competition. To his great surprise the quarrelling siblings revealed themselves to be none other than Galicia's foremost coffee liquor and pork fuelled rock n roll rhythm section, of Wavy Gravies, Bo Dereks, Limboos and All Night Workers infamy! Upon this discovery, an Anglo-Galician plan for world musical domination was hatched!
However, such was the noise and disturbance created that night, the Galician constabulary were called by an angry local hotel patron and the terrible threesome were soon arrested and detained in Sanxenxo Maximum Security Zoological Gardens, known locally and colloquially as 'The Zoo'. However, using a combination of Gorilla's bacon induced muscle, Baldie's greasiest waxing products and Mr. Freeze's ample locks these desperate rock n roll felons somehow managed to ESCAPE FROM THE ZOO!!!! They then headed south for the border with Portugal.
Once in Portugal, they took refuge in a disused Porto warehouse, only to be discovered by a somewhat startled international record producer and impresario, Mr. Nuno Riviera. Afraid for his life, but also sensing great financial opportunity, Nuno offered to record them in return for beer and grilled poultry. Within no time, songs were written and somewhat hastily and haphazardly recorded. Nine hundred bottles of Super-Bock, forty-seven chickens, three punch ups and twenty litres of coffee later......the rest as they say is history!
Distribution: alopeciarecords@hotmail.com https://www.facebook.com/mark.s.painter
CLOSING COMMENTS ABOUT THE ALBUM Like a massive thunderstorm… I am totally blown away by these 14 fantabulous original tunes… This album really is exceptional with a fun twist, so please check it out!! It’s a brand-new record that encompasses a surf, punk, garage, rock n roll party music vibe… beware these guys have just ESCAPED FROM THE ZOO!!!! Well, it certainly sounds like it!! Argghhhhhhh! ..Look out Spanish/Portuguese Tour in October 2023!
YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/l6tmWhclSY8
Reviewed by Dave Diamond.
